


Relationship Counselling Meme

by TheTentacleCommander



Series: The Devil's Saga Series Extras [14]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Game: Resident Evil 3 Nemesis - Fandom, Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Human/Monster Romance, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mates, Meme, Monsters, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Tentacle Monsters, Tentacles, slight red flags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTentacleCommander/pseuds/TheTentacleCommander
Summary: Relationship Counselling Meme - done on dA in 2016(Zeus and the voices in his head/Ghandon and his 'boys'/Me and Jack Daniels/screw it canon folks - N/J *theirTDSinterpretations cause man do these two of all my pairings need the council*)Note: Nemesis doesn’t really talk. So a dry erase board has been given to him. His written English isn't the best.
Relationships: Nemesis & Jill Valentine, Nemesis-T Type/Jill Valentine, Nemesis/Jill Valentine
Series: The Devil's Saga Series Extras [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/906123
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Relationship Counselling Meme

**So, you've been brought in today to talk about your relationship to each other. This is for those special couples who believe the other person to be "the one", not for those who are still in their first week/month. Understood?**

Jill: Understood. *shoves the silent person next to her*.  
Nemesis: *The Tyrant simply rolls his eye before sighing. Nemesis then writes down on a dry erase board in semi legible writing* Fine. *One can tell by his face that he was not really interested in this interview at all. What did amuse him was the uncomfortable state the interviewer was in from their body language. He only encouraged the interviewer's discomfort by licking his teeth, picking out a piece of meat that was trapped in his shark like maw with his tongue.*  
J: Stop it. *said in a low hiss* He's...umm not one for manners...or censoring himself, but he will today. _Right_?  
N: *Straightens himself to full height in his chair, suddenly appearing as if he was going to take this seriously now. Clearly, he responds to Jill's implied threats with way more gusto than expected from a 400+ pound monster.*  
  


**Great. First off, what are your names?**

J: Jillian Catherine Valentine. But you can call me Jill. And this is my...um responsibility, Nemesis.  
N: *Snorts loudly before scribbling on the dry erase board* I am death. Also, watch eyes towards mate. Mine.  
J: *Gives Nemesis the side eye. She softly whispers under her breath,* Please, this isn't the time to be a brat...

**  
How long have you been together?**

J: Hmmm as in like 'this' or as in dealing with each other? I...guess if you leave out the infighting, working together part and the awkward way things 'happened' well...six months?  
N: *Nods deferring to her on that, not that he truly cared about 'when' as long as it 'is'.*

**  
When you first got together, on your first date, if you like, what did you think of the other person? Obviously you liked them but other than that?**

J: Date? *She softly laughs at the idea.* More like I hated him, his very existence and who made him. The idea of being what I am with him now would have disgusted me to my very core back when. He was created to kill and has numerous times tried to do so with extreme prejudice. He was and is still an abomination that shouldn't be here at all. And yet...he's one of the few things in this world keeping me tethered to reality. *For a moment, she looks away from the interviewer* How things so dearly change.  
N: *As she said that, Nemesis' expression never changed. He then scrawled down*, What is -date-? Humans notate numbers for things but think mean something else? Clarify? *Nemesis then rubs off the dry erase board, his eye narrowing. Something about the second question bothered him. He hesitates before writing down,* Her death was assignment. I...failed it. I made bloody instead. *He then looks towards Jill before a sense of nervousness crosses his features. It was as if there was something he wanted to say but held back.*

**  
Have your opinions changed since then? How so, if so?**

J: Well, it'd be foolish to say he isn't capable of being dangerous. But, he has the capacity to be kind, caring even. I've seen him spare others and...seen him kill others. He can reason and feel pain and even happiness. I...I think more of him than those who pretend to be human and have done worse. So, yes my opinions on him have changed.  
N: No. *Jill looks to him with a curious expression. Nemesis continues to write,* She never weak. Strong. Refuses to back down. Refuses to submit. Makes me look to her. I...desire this and always have. So, no.  
J: Are you being honest here? That isn't true-  
N: I hated when down. Yet. I desired it. Desire doesn’t mean like always. Just do. *He then tilts his head at her, eying her processing his admission.*

**  
What do you think the other person thinks of you?**

J: That I'm something to care for. Something to listen to. I don't know why. He could easily overpower me and sometimes I wonder if it isn't a long game being played. *She kneads her hands softly in her lap.* I strangely don't fear this. It makes it interesting, guessing what's in his head. Though when he's in his um moods I can tell straight away what he wants and thinks. *A warm flush of red coats her cheeks.* I also think he looks to me to keep things okay. Not that I have any choice. It's not like he's going to go out and negotiate with humans for provisions or anything.  
N: *Notes the hint of sadness in Jill's voice.* I play no game. I only want. I think mate thinks me good protector. Good as no one has yet brought her harm in care. I won't allow it. *this was written heavier as if he wanted that statement emphasized more* I think she sees me as safe. This pleases me.

**  
Do you fight often? If so, what about and do you easily make up?**

J: Not really? I mean before all 'this' we were at each other's throats. But even then, when it was less of a lethal engagement it was more a sense of him testing his boundaries, not that he was really angry. He's ...unsettling when angry. Like the only big fight was when he...uh misunderstood how I felt and destroyed the room he was held in. I was livid and admittedly scared for a time. I recall yelling at him...and then we just hugged each other. *Jill shifts a bit nervously in her chair before going on* Ever since, we've had a silent understanding.  
N: Fight? As in we pretend to will harm on each other? We do that. Then we mate.  
J: Nemesis! That's...that's not what the question meant-  
N: Sometimes she yells at me; I find voice very pleasing when is angry.  
J: Stop. You know you are wrong.  
N: Like ...that. *He absently licks his teeth again, clearly enjoying pushing her buttons with the sudden intentional change in tone to his answers.*

**  
And, if it isn't too saucy, how do you usually make up? Who apologizes first?**

J: Don't you dare-!  
N: Like said before. We mate. There is no apology. Just joining of flesh.

**  
Who "wears the pants" in the relationship?**

J: I do and if someone doesn’t watch what he says, he'll be joining the couch alone tonight.  
N: *A low, inhumanly so chuckle came from the monster. Jill's face was beet red now; he audibly sniffed before lowly purring enjoying that he got a rise out of her yet again. Clearly, he wasn't above playing embarrassing games with her after all.*

**  
How often do you try to treat the other person to outings or gifts?**

J: We kind of are in hiding. Doing such a thing isn't really safe at this time. Besides, I'm not sure what he'd even like in a gift. He simply seems happy to be here, with me.  
N: My mate is good to me. She gifts me with presence everyday. She gifts me with offspring. Gifts me with her warmth. I in return gift her protection. Sometimes, when targets try to harm her, I take heads, make them into tokens of fealty.

**  
Are you very romantic to each other in public or do you keep the romance for the bedroom?**

J: Like I mentioned before, we can't afford to go out nor would be accepted by society if we did. We stay in hiding for our safety. So I guess we are rather private with our affections.  
N: Do not understand humans mean by 'romance'. If you mean by matings, we do when we want. Sometimes even in grass as long as little isn't present. Says is not good for child to be present-  
J: *Snaps at Nemesis* No. Stop right there. *Turns to the interviewer* Can we not go in this line of questioning? This is way too private and had I've known this was the direction we'd be going in, I would have never consented to this.

**  
How often do you do it?**

J: WHAT?!  
N: 'Do it?' *Looks at Jill's embarrassed face; puts two and two together quickly* We engage at least 3 times daily her heat fluctuations. Her heat scent prompts to mate as the longer stays the more...agitated I become.  
J: *Jill sharply kicks the Tyrant, very annoyed that he would just write that.* It's called 'tact', use it!  
N: *Sniffs the air, before making a small noise in the back of his throat.* Speaking of...  
J: No. You can 'suffer' as your stunt has completely turned me against doing a thing.

**  
Do your parents like your other half?**

J: My parents…my mother has long passed away. My father is still in prison…uh um I never told him and honestly am not sure if I want to.  
N: What are paren- *he makes a face; an almost upsetting one before narrowing his eye, the Tyrant grinding his teeth* I was made, not born. *the next was written in a shakier hand in bold* That…human has no right…no right to me anymore. We enjoy knowing his corpse is rotting away. *The slip in pronoun was duly noted*

**  
How did they react when you told them about your relationship?**

J: *Jill is leaning forward, trying to hold back tears from thinking on her parents*  
N: *Nemesis is staring blankly at the board, looking at his past answer. Then softly begins to add to it* The nurse…she did nothing. Was and is nothing. *For a moment it seemed as if flickers of grief crossed his lipless face but just like that, the expressionless face he held previous returned.

**  
How about your friends? Did they agree with you two being together or did they make a fuss when you told them?**

J: *Jill lets out a small laugh, it tinged with a bit of sadness* Sheva seemed okay with this…nontraditional situation. Then there was Chris….no. I’d rather not go into this.  
N: No need for friends, just mate and offspring.

**  
What is "your song"?**

J: *Jill looks puzzled, then laughs clearly finding the question absurd* Um, I actually never gave such a silly thing much thought. Next thing you’ll ask is if we have pet names, right-  
N: *busily scrawled a youtube [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMzUbRuaCCc) down as apparently he can work a computer*  
J: *Has someone loan her a tablet to look it up. Reads the lyrics* Is this supposed to imply something?  
N: *simply licks his teeth and enjoys the almost unsettled look to her face*

**  
How many times have you broken up? Did you think you'd get back together?**

J: This isn’t well… that kind of thing. I um, am *is actually getting flustered at trying to answer the question*  
N: ‘Broken up?’ I don’t understand. We fought. I dead. Then awoke to her foot on head. Then separated by others fighting us. I knew I’d find her again and did. She isn’t going anywhere. I made sure this time. *the last scrawled with a jagged underline*  
J: *A flicker of unease grazes her face before Jill pushes it back down to a more neutral expression.*

**  
How long do you think you'll be together now? Together forever, would you say?**

J: I d-don’t know. I don’t believe in ‘forever’. We run until we can’t anymore.  
N: She is mine and I am hers. Anyone who changes this, shall no longer. *He softly grabs the woman near himself, nuzzling his face in her hair. The near possessive gleam to his eye was not miss able*

**  
Have you ever bought something the other person hated?**

J: I *nervously giggles; it was as if she was happy to change the mood in the room* gave him some cooked beef thinking him, Sia and I could eat from the same roast. Poor thing vomited everywhere after a few large bites. It was a pain cleaning out all that vomit. Seems he has a more delicate stomach than previously thought!  
N: I gave head of warm kill. She did not like. Attacker needed to pay. She found ...unsettling. I do not understand.

**  
Do you have a shared bank account/do you share your money together?**

J: I don’t keep an account…well not anything that is easily traceable these days. And he being a non-human would have no idea about ‘banks’, or ‘money’ anyway.  
N: We share our bounty from woods; is that what mean?

**  
Do you ever look at the other person, even now, and wonder how you got it so good?**

J: I …uh I do sometimes. He’s been there for me, there to keep me grounded and to reaffirm what I’m fighting for – our child.  
N: I desire nothing more than to have at side. She’s the only one who looked me in eye and cared with no fear. She is mine and I am hers.

**  
Once a cheater/liar, always a cheater/liar. Agreed?**

J: I do. But he hasn’t lied to me. I don’t think a Tyrant is capable of it; they are straightforward creatures that let you know exactly what they want. *Jill slightly gasps before blushing slightly* Like that. *swats what looks to be a tentacle from behind her*  
N: *As Jill is distracted laughing at his wandering appendage, he looks at the interviewer blankly, writing nothing. Quickly the questions continue with him giving no answer*

**  
Do you share clothes (to a certain extent)?**

J: *Jill’s pale face goes full red before she lowly murmurs* Sometimes I wear his coat. He likes that sometimes.  
N: What do you mean by? Her clothing too small to wear. Is good to smell though…  
J: *She is literally trying to not laugh from full on embarrassment now*

**  
Do you love the other person?**

J: Umm of course! We’ve been through so much, right?  
Right…?  
N: …. *He writes nothing. Not even a response implying he doesn’t understand*

**  
Would you do ANYTHING for them?**

J: *Still worried about his last non-answer* I gave up my military credentials, my few friends left, my life, my humanity EVERYTHING FOR HIM. *Her voice had taken on a bitter tinge* I did it all! He better appreciate this…doesn’t….don’t you…?  
N: *A large hand ghosts the visibly distraught woman’s back, cradling Jill close to himself. He then replies in focused scrawling* I would and have killed for. Would die for her. Would do anything to keep mate at side. She should never doubt or forget.

**  
What is your favourite physical quality of the other person?**

J: *Jill spoke though her softly falling tears and sniffles at the last answer he gave* Hahah oh –these- questions. Would it surprise you it’s his eye? Tentacles would be too low hanging a fruit of an answer. So many emotions with just a simple glare.  
N: Her soft pliant… *he starts to scrawl before Jill softly giggles towards him, before mouthing out, ‘Keep it G rated. I know you’. Being that he has no idea what that statement means, he goes on to say* hands. *the sound of Jill letting out a breath is heard.* They are so soft when I nip them with teeth and even softer when she touches me below before I mate her.  
J: NEMESIS, NO!  
N: *The Tyrant laughs in that unsettling, low pitched inhuman laugh clearly loving that he is making her flustered again. Noticeably, Jill was laughing along with him as if he was trying to indirectly cheer her up from questions ago. Or, it was just Nemesis was being a trolly dick who thought with said dick 90% of the time.*

**  
And your favourite non-physical one?**

J: *Still trying to recover from laughing* His penchant for pushing shit with me. Clearly, he likes testing me and I adore him for it.  
N: Her ability to put me in place. Only human I bend to. Only human I can play with and want to live afterwards.

**  
What about a favourite item of clothing the other person sometimes wears?**

J: I as mentioned earlier [I have an attachment to his top coat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19720615). It fits like a cape around me, but I don’t mind as long as it’s warm inside.  
N: *This time, Nemesis actually looks a tad flustered* She wears outfit. –That- one. I…I desire it and would her wear it every day if she would. She wants to have last for long time. [Wears it instead special occasions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550700). I delight when happens. Means have been very good.

**  
For the purposes of this meme, let's say you came across a bra you don't own in your bedroom. Or a t-shirt with your least favourite band on. What would you do?**

J: He wouldn’t do such a stupid thing. For one, that would imply he let a stranger onto our land. Two…I don’t get the feeling he likes humans enough to…to…do that…  
He wouldn’t. *a twinge of jealousy coats her voice*  
N: *Nemesis lowly snarls at the interviewer. He clearly is not happy that Jill is upset again.* It means target has invaded domicile. It means I've failed. I do not fail. **I eliminate**. *The last was written on thickly; the glare he gave wasn’t of jealousy though – it was as if he took his job of guard dog very seriously. As if he has and will again eliminate anything he saw as a threat trespassing their land.*

**  
More clearly, the other person's cheating on you. Oh now don't say they'd never do that because it's just for the purposes of this meme, after all, and the other person probably isn't cheating. But just say what you'd do and how you'd react.**

J: I hate this…I…are we done yet? He wouldn’t do that to me…Chris did and now he’s dead. But he wouldn’t…just stop. Please.  
N: My mate waited 7 years. I don’t like insisting she wouldn’t. I destroy threats. All including that sadden her. *He was lowly snarling now, glaring death at the interviewer.*

**  
What if you found out they were lying about something? Not necessarily another wo/man but something else? Like perhaps how much money they personally had and how much they were really sharing with you. Or your pet rabbit really did die and she didn't just escape.**

J: Stop…just. I’m done. This isn’t worth it.  
N: She is the only one trust. I tell her what she wants, hear what she wants. *Noticeably, he is clutching his fist; the glare in his eye looks as if he is sorely tempted to follow up on the thinly veiled threat from the previous question.*

**  
What's the other's favourite movie ever?**

J: *Lets out a deep breath, thankful for the change in questions* Well I can be cliché and say ‘Beauty and the Beast’ the Disney version, but actually I don’t know. He hasn’t really expressed interest in television or electronic media in general. It’s for the best, I suppose.  
N: Mate too busy to do that? I don’t care her likes; I want her. Watch her work, watch her play, watch her breathe, her sleep. Is more interesting than movie.

**  
And their childhood dreams or aspirations?**

J: I know very little about him, to be honest. I don’t even know if he had a childhood. Rotting away in an insufferable lab no doubt. Damn _U_ mbrella.  
N: I don’t understand. I only know of now and that is here with me and child. That is enough.

**  
Their favourite/most used word or phrase?**

J: *Jill begins to laugh again before snorting out* Oh, how I –hate- that phrase. STARS this and STARS that. Am so glad that wasn’t a permanent thing with him. That drove me insane along with that whole trying to kill me business.  
N: Monster. Used to be puzzled by. Most humans use in negative. She did too. But now she *gives her a toothy grin inasmuch he could do with no lips* when she is screaming under me.  
J: *Jill literally is trying to not lose what sanity she has left as even the tips of her ears are red now* Definitely the couch tonight, you dick.

**  
Now this may be an awkward question but are you thinking of having children together at some point in the future?**

J: Beat you to the punch as we have our wonderful daughter, Sia. And it seems another is on the way. I um missed a few monthly visits…and the test this morning…  
N: *Nemesis is for once rendered speechless as he was definitely caught off guard by the last response. *

**  
Marriage yay or nay?**

J: I can’t legally marry him, but that’s okay. He’s here and that’s that. *She softly pulls his hand to her belly assuring him all is okay.*  
N: *He pulls her closer to his side, purring contentedly not even caring about the questions anymore.*

**  
Right, thank you for answering the questions and coming here today, I'll look over these later and get back to you. Goodbye!**

**Now that the OCs have left (and are out of earshot), here's a question for the creator: what's the future for their relationship? Long, short? Happy, angry? Bumpy, harmonious?**

Well, I’m not their creator (thanks, Capcom!), but I kinda stole em and held em at knife-point for a while and this interpretation was the result? Anyways – complicated. Just complicated. That harmony and solidarity is a tad touch and go (and a bit false what with him purposely evading questions).

**Thanks for doing the meme, enjoy your day!**


End file.
